If you’ve found your way here, you probably have been readying along with my How To Be A Good Submissive In A BDSM Relationship series or have interest in figuring out if a BDSM relationship is right for you and how to navigate this whole new world full of different rules and etiquette that seems so foreign. There are many ways to address people within the BDSM community and many ways not to as well, especially if you want to pursue this seriously. Far too often honorific names such as Daddy or Mistress are used without having earned the right to use something so intimate. Imagine having a complete stranger walk up to your
Introductions
Make an introduction. When you go into almost any other encounter in the entire world that you want to create a relationship in, you start by introducing yourself. Why would this be so different? I know it’s seemingly this completely other world but really, start with introductions, asking them how they would like to be referred to. They will let you know. Then use that. It’s really that simple. You call doctors Dr. So-and-so. You call your Domme Mistress So-and-so, or whatever their preferred name is. Never assume that simply because you want a Mommy that you get to immediately just call them that. That’s the best way to cringe your way into their ignore box because they’ll know you don’t have any respect for them or how they do things. Start from the start, don’t think you can get a head start in the game by jumping into the middle.
Stating Intentions
Once you’ve begun interacting with the dominant that you want to have a D/s (Dominant/submissive) session or full on relationship with, let them know. Don’t make demands, we aren’t robots that you state your requirements and we spit out your fantasy immediately. Request permission to state your intentions in approaching them to see if they are willing to accept you. See if they already have their protocols on how to approach on their website or social media and follow the instructions. There really are so few that do that, be the one that impresses us by doing what really should be the bare minimum but isn’t. Do it right and you’re much more likely to get a response than if you were to just bust into our mentions without at least first looking for our instructions.
Earning Your Way Up
Understand that there is a hierarchy and a way to earn your way up in serving us. Every Domme has a different structure for how you gain your station and there is no cheating your way up. You don’t get to demand where you want to be, that’s called topping from the bottom and isn’t something desirable in a submissive. I personally expect for someone who wants to serve me to submit a tribute first of money to show they are serious and then they may share their desires. We share online sessions that they earn their way up to eventually the trust I expect to be allowed to say that they are officially owned by me. No one ever calls me Mommy or any other pet name that I do not invite first. It is a violation and I won’t accept it unless that privilege is earned. Other Dommes have completely different protocols and each are to be followed and respected.
Always Go With Respect
If in doubt, go with respect. Use respect in everything you do and it will get you far in your quest for the D/s relationship you are searching for. If you have questions, go back and read more from my blog Proper Etiquette With A Domme or send me a message and Talk To Me! Until next year! ~Divine Goddess EveB
ADHD BDSM 