BDSM Subspace: What is it?

If you’ve been exploring the world of kink and BDSM you may or may not have heard of the term subspace before. There are many ways to describe it as everyone experiences it and achieves it differently, but it essentially breaks down to the area of euphoria that you reach where intense emotions occur, pain tolerance can increase due to certain chemicals being released due to adrenaline and endorphins, and all other worldly experiences and relationships disappear. It is extremely intense both physically and emotionally which can lead to an exhausting, drained feeling at the end which is why aftercare is so important, which we’ll talk about in more detail later.

How does subspace happen?

Without getting into the technicalities of which chemical are released and when, it happens when your fight or flight response gets stimulated and you are taken by chemically induced emotions. You experience something akin to being intoxicated but without any other stimulation than BDSM. It is usually if not most often brought on by pain, but that doesn’t mean someone needs to be corporally punished or be whipped. Some don’t require much stimulation at all while others enjoy a more masochistic approach. When the chemicals are released it increases your pain tolerance to allow a euphoric feeling to take the place of the usual emotion to pain.

What does the dominant experience?

During a play session the dominant also experiences a similar type of feeling, like a Domspace where they experience euphoria in their power. When I experienced it during my sessions, my body was buzzing with electricity that was the adrenaline and my head was floating almost like an out of body experience with things feeling like they were going both slow like a dream and a hundred miles a minute. Time wasn’t a thing, it didn’t exist to either one of us and it felt like I was spinning, almost like I was a little high and drunk. It is important for the dominant to stay in control of the situation though to ensure everything remains safe and the situation always under control.

Precautions to think about:

Something important for the Dominant to remember is that they have the power in this situation and the submissive is in this subspace that makes them very vulnerable. Their inhibitions may be lowered and their sensitivity to pain may be numbed to the point that they don’t realize the amount of damage that is happening. Make sure that you discuss very clearly before the session what limits everyone has, what the hard no’s are, and that you have a safe word that will end the session immediately should anyone realize things have gone too far. Anyone saying they have “no limits” is a dangerous thing and is not something to be played with.

The importance of aftercare:

After such an intense session both physically and emotionally there will be a drop afterwards that can lead to negative feelings unless properly tended to. As with everything else, each person is different and needs different attention, but most often aftercare includes both checking in with your partner how they are feeling emotionally and with physical touch. If there was impact play, tending to any wounds or massaging healing salve. If there was humiliation, giving verbal reassurance. It doesn’t have to be much, but it can mean the difference between an amazing, fulfilling session and something leaving you feeling empty.

Other interesting reading:

If this has piqued your interest and want to get into the foreplay side of things before you dive in, here’s my article on the Top 5 foreplay toys to try where getting started or, if you aren’t there yet, here’s my article on How To Pick Your Domme. Until next time, keep talking to me!

-Divine Goddess EveB